The Cro-Magon's Bean Dip

Okay world, this recipe turns out some freaking awesome bean dip.

WARNING: make sure you have a friend or family member eat this with you, otherwise you won't be able to stop yourself from eating the entire thing. As good as this is going to taste, you don't want to eat the entire thing.

Here's what you need:

1 can of refried beans

Monterrey Jack Cheese

Fresh Salsa

Tapatio hot sauce

1/2 a package of cream cheese

For best results you're going to have to do some prep before you start cooking anything.
First shred the cheese. You want to shred a man sized fist amount of cheese. What's a man sized fist you ask? It's the size of your fist partially open as if it's holding a baseball. That's just one example of how we measure ingredients in the Cro-Magnon's kitchen y'all.
Next, remove the cream cheese from the box but keep it in its foil wrapper and cut it in half. Put the half you're not going to use back in the box and put it in the fridge.
Now you're ready to start cooking stuff. Empty the can of refried beans and it's accompanying juices into a pot.

Add about a finger tip's length of water to the pot. Don't ask me why, just do it.

Now turn up the heat on the stove (medium high) and start mashing the beans up with whatever heat resistant cooking utensil you can find. It's important to keep stirring the beans throughout the entire cooking operation. If you don't, they'll burn and stick to the bottom of the pot and you'll get in trouble with your wife.

Once you get the beans mashed up pretty good, go ahead and dump in that half block of cream cheese (make sure you take it out of the foil first), and mix it in. You may have to mash up the cream cheese as you mix it depending on how soft the cream cheese was when you added it to the beans. Don't worry though, it will start melting pretty fast once you put it in. REMEMBER TO KEEP STIRRING!!!

Once you have the cream cheese melted pretty good and mixed throughout the beans, add the cheese into the mix. KEEP STIRRING.

After the cheese is melted, add 3 heaping spoonfuls of fresh salsa. KEEP STIRRING.

Now that you've got the salsa mixed in good, it's time to add the secret awesome ingredient: Tapatio hot sauce.

Put in as much as you like. If you don't want it hot then don't put in a lot. KEEP STIRRING. Mix it all in until all you see is the creamy light brown of the beans.

When everything is mixed in nice, remove from heat, pour in a bowl, and enjoy!

My bean dip can be enjoyed hot or cold.

Now it's important to note that there are some alternative ingredients for those of you who don't like hot, spicy, picante, etc. bean dip. Instead of fresh salsa you can opt for a mild canned salsa like Pace Picante sauce or whatever generic brand is available. If even that's too spicy for you, go with good old Ketchup. It may sound gross using ketchup but you need that tomato flavoring in there for the end result. I've had it both ways and it's great either way. Lose the Tapatio too if you can't take the heat.